Why You Should Travel Alone

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This post may seem like avant-garde satire, but I assure you it isn’t. After a period of lockdown where many people have been made to stay at home, often alone, often to the detriment of their mental health, I truly believe that once it’s safe to travel again, and once people feel like they are back on an even-keel after catching up with family and friends then everybody should spend some time travelling alone. Here’s why. 

Five-years-ago, two things happened. I started to learn Italian and I came to the realisation that I was probably burnt out. I hadn’t been on holiday for about three years and truthfully, I was spent, I had nothing left to give. So, being single and my friends all in relationships, I had two options: sit at home for another summer or go on holiday alone. I originally opted for the former, deciding that travelling alone was too pathetic. Being from London and the avoidance of all forms of social contact with strangers being ingrained into the Londoner’s psyche, I wasn’t sure I fancied a fortnight with no contact other than ordering food. 

Eventually, after reasoning that I was a grown man and should stop being ridiculous, I decided to try it and go on holiday on my own. I opted to go to Sicily and put my Italian skills to the test. I decompressed completely. I woke up when I wanted, I ate breakfast when I wanted, I lounged on the beach all day drinking coffee and reading books, I ate dinner when and where I wanted. I had no-one else to worry about or to answer to. It was completely and utterly liberating. There was no “are you bored?” or “what do you fancy to eat?” moments. All I had to focus on was myself; it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. 

The quiet, colourful streets of Cefalù.

The quiet, colourful streets of Cefalù.

I also got over my reticence about social contact. I made a friend, spending some evenings outside his gelateria chatting away, smoking, and drinking espresso- I felt like one of the locals. It’s also something I probably could not have done had I had company to entertain. I enjoyed it so much that I booked a solo weekend away in Naples two months later. 

After arriving in Naples, I found an entirely exhilarating city that I enjoyed to the fullest, walking almost 36 miles (58 km) in 3-and-a-half-days. Once again, I woke when I wanted and did as I pleased, even eating pizza every night for dinner. Napoli is the home of pizza and it’s been elevated to an art-form there. If you go, check out La Pizzeria Sorbillo on the Via dei Tribunali. It is spectacular and may well ruin pizza for you.  

The spectacular view of Naples skyline from the pretty Chiaia neighbourhood.

The spectacular view of Naples skyline from the pretty Chiaia neighbourhood.

My two solo holiday experiences really drove home the point that sometimes, it’s ok to focus just on yourself. That sometimes, you need to put yourself first. Taking that time away, being by myself and recharging my batteries made me a better son/brother/friend and it made me more productive at work. More importantly, it also gave me the courage to spend some time alone, to really be ok with that and to get out there and start making more of an effort to talk to people and experience new things. I’m not going to lie; I still consider small talk with strangers on the Tube a capital offence but I’m definitely more outgoing now.  

I confess, some of my experiences wouldn’t have been possible without being able to speak Italian and you can read why I strongly recommend learning another language here but spending that time alone still would have been transformative. It still would have given me the ability to be ok spending time with just myself for company.   

Shortly after, I met my current girlfriend and we’ve been together for nearly four-years-now and living together for two-and-a-half of those. Like I said, my experiences made me more outgoing. Maybe we would have met anyway or maybe not. Maybe I’m attributing too much credit to going on holiday alone, maybe that was just one of the processes we all go through to get where we want to be in life, but I think it definitely helped. I think that by finally learning how to be alone, I also learnt how to be with someone else. 

Thanks for reading,
Terry

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